I thought I would pop on here again because sometimes life just has a funny way of working. For a few months now, I have put up with a boss that was lets just say not the best boss in the world, and I have spent a lot of nights crying over it.
Well, fast forward today and one of my jobs that I absolutely love asked me to work for them full time which is great in the sense that I absolutely love working for them and it is such an amazing opportunity. But at the same time, it is less money since, two jobs brings in a lovely income. But, having one almost cuts that income in half, which stresses me out to no end. And it got me thinking, the universe has provided me with this amazing opportunity and it is up to me to decide what I do with it. It provided me with a way out. So am I going to go for it?
When they first asked me I said yes, without even giving in a second thought thinking what a great way to escape my totalitarian boss. At the same time now that it has all sunk in, I am so very afraid. I am afraid of the lower income and just generally afraid that if things don’t work out how I would want. But, I also know that it is this fear that is completely holding me back in life, and it is holding me back from achieving any of my dreams. Maybe, this is the universes way of telling me to let it all go and, it will take care of me I just have to trust it. I already told my boss that I would leave one job for sure by the 1st of May, but then I go and tell the other one I can maybe do a day or two. Maybe, it is because I am always half in and half out that is why I am so discontent with myself.
I also, think in me letting go and trusting the universe I am giving up a certain amount of control, and that is probably the real problem here. Is that I am afraid to lose that control that I seem to have in that aspect of my life. This may be the lesson that I need to learn from this and that is to give up a part of the control I have over my life, in order to move to the next stage of my life. Working less and having a stable income means that I can focus more on this blog, And this blog brings me so much happiness and joy. And, as I have said a million times that this year to me, was all about happiness and discovering what I love. So, I need to stop bloody procrastinating and making excuses for why my life is not how I want it and start making it actually how I want it.
Let’s create our dream lives loves.