I know it has been ages since I last posted, but honestly work and life got so insanely crazy, I was working every day pretty much like 9-12 hours a day, so I am extremely thankful for this day off so I decided to write on my blog.
2016 for me was just so hard professional and personally. But I think it also taught me a lot in terms of what I want out of life and the necessary experiences for me to give myself the greatest 2017.
First off my University course I was studying Public Health and Health Promotion, which is what I thought I wanted to be doing. But I don’t think I was ever really a university person in a lot of ways, like I would prefer to just go out there and explore the world and have completely new experiences rather than just learning out of a textbook. And university is something I thought I wanted at the time, but upon going to university it was nothing like I thought it was.
I pushed myself really hard and had many sleepless nights stressing over something I just wasn’t sure I wanted to do. However, because I went to university last year it has also motivated me to take the greatest gap year EVER!!!!! And just travel and learn about as many places and people around the world as possible. And I don’t think I would have ever come to this conclusion if I didn’t go to University and didn’t have the greatest time.
Secondly, I had a really rough year in my job. There were times when I just wanted to quit and I spent many days off work just completely stressing about it and thinking I was under performing. There were also a lot of times where I would cry myself to sleep about it. However, I realised that not always performing how the boss would like you to perform means you are going to get fired. Just make sure you go in there and do your best and then when you leave make sure you forget about it and focus on the things you enjoy.
Been super busy is not always a good thing- I spent most of this year working and slaving my life away whether it be at Uni or it be at work, and I really didn’t spend a lot of time just hanging out with friends or doing the things that I enjoy. So this year I have decided to devote myself to just letting myself be young and trying as many things that scare me as possible. Hence, why I have planned so much travel for next year.
Now moving onto my more personal life:
Relationships- I learnt that failed relationships does not always mean you have failed. For the last few months of a serious relationship that I was in it kind of turned toxic. I sacrificed my self-worth a lot and I spent a lot of nights unable to sleep and just crying and crying. I never really told anyone what was happening at the time because I felt so ashamed and I blamed myself a lot for what was happening , even though it really wasn’t all my fault, some people are just really good at making it seem that way. And I also never told anyone what was going on because people thought we were so perfect and me telling them what was happening. I think telling someone what was going on showed me being too vulnerable and not everything is perfect, and I was afraid of someone seeing that. So I learnt also that some things are just not fixable and love isn’t always enough and have enough self-worth to know when to walk away.
Becoming Independent- In 2016, I also got the news that my parents were moving about two hours away, which meant that I needed to find another job to be able to pay rent so that I could stay living in the city. Many times this felt like a hopeless feat and I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it. But just towards the end of 2016 I got a call and I got another job and this meant I was able to support myself and still have spending money left over to go and do some amazing things. I am just so proud that i have got to this stage in my life.
2016 was rough, but I know that 2017 is going to be an amazing year and I couldn’t be more excited for it. It’s time for me to take risks.